One of the most popular pieces of marriage advice is the age-old saying, “Happy wife, happy life.” I’m sure the majority of husbands have heard this at one time or another. I heard it at my wedding. I even heard it before my wedding! And I am sure I have even offered the advice to others.
But it’s not entirely true, and it is definitely not good advice.
A marriage involves two people. Two people who have committed to love and serve each other forever. The blessings of marriage are equally available to both husband and wife. Happiness in marriage should not be conditioned only upon the husband serving the wife so that she is happy. A successful marriage consists of both a husband and wife who are selfless and always striving to serve each other. No one keeps score, because it doesn’t matter who does more, as long as each is always trying.
So let’s do away with that old phrase and start sharing better advice with our friends. A friend of mine, a girl in fact, recently suggested the following:
“Happy spouse, happy house.”
It is that easy. No one wants to be the one doing all or the majority of the work around the house. We all know, house chores do not give anyone true joy. Satisfaction perhaps, but it comes with a price. Instead, if we always look out for opportunities to serve our spouse, we bring joy into their lives, and if both husbands and wives do this right, then happiness results from such service, the marriage becomes strengthened, and the word “chore” and the phrase “honey-do-list” become eliminated from our day-to-day lives.
Our homes should be a refuge from the world, full of love. When we come home, there should be no contention or blame about housework. For me, when I see something that needs to be done, I see an opportunity to make my wife happy, and that is all the motivation I need.
A broken home is not worth a fight over dirty dishes.
My wife and I were married in the beautiful Salt Lake City temple on August 30th of last year. This October we are excited to welcome a little boy into our lives.
Some may think this is all happening too fast, and that we should have waited a few more years. Everyone has different reasons. Some say we should take more time to ourselves, get to know each other better, or be more prepared financially.
So why so soon?
First of all, it was no accident.
Just as Adam and Eve were commanded in the Garden to multiply and replenish the earth, so to were my wife and I commanded when we were sealed together.
God’s commandments should never be taken lightly. God knows everything about us. He knows what’s best for us, and knows the right time for anything to happen. I trust God. He is my Father. Though I don’t fully understand, as I do my best to be a father to this little boy, I’m sure my understanding will increase.
The whole purpose of this life is to build families. Families are eternal. Our relationships with our families are to be kept in tact as we pass on from this life into the next. The only way that is possible is through the ordinances of the temple. Heaven would not be heaven for me without every member of my family.
I love my Heavenly Father, and like all sons, I want my Dad to be proud of me. I know that by doing what my Dad wants me to do, He looks down on me with pride.
My life is not about me or what I want. It’s about my family. It’s about my wife. It’s about my son. My life is dedicated to serving God and keeping His commandments. By loving and serving my family, I serve God, and, with all the hope in my heart, make Him proud.
Recently I’ve had quite a few job interviews with various companies. Some interviews have been face to face, but since I am currently out of town from the city I am moving to, many interviews have been over the phone.
I don’t mind a phone interview, especially for sales/customer service jobs. It helps the interviewer understand your personality on the phone, and in my opinion, is a great way to tell if you could do well at the position.
When it comes to interviewing for any kind of sales position, you can bet your entire savings account that you will be asked, “Do you have any sales experience?”
I’ve had one serious direct sales job in my life selling knives one summer. So as an answer to this question I used my missionary service as an example of my sales experience. I would say that it was a lot like sales; the only difference being the product.
Over the past few days I have really reflected on that response. As a missionary, I did not sell anything. I made no money. In fact, many people (myself included) sacrificed financially towards my missionary service.
There was however, a product. This is a product people believe in. A product that has affected the lives of millions. A product that affected me personally. A product I wanted everyone I met to have. And, the best part of all, it was completely free.
It’s change. Complete change through the restored gospel of Jesus Christ.
When you sell something, you don’t really care about the person you are selling to, at least not long term. Those I taught the gospel to as a missionary have my heart, my prayers, and my support. Even today, four years later, and for the rest of my life I will care about them and the progress they are making in their spiritual journeys.
My service as a missionary was a special time in my life, full of experiences that I will never forget. I saw people change their lives because of the message I shared with them. The same message changed me, and continues to change me. The message is this: God lives. He lives and He knows our situation. Jesus Christ has restored His Church to the earth to prepare the world for His Second Coming. Living prophets speak for Them today. Families can be sealed together as eternal units. There is hope in a decaying world.
Never again will I use my mission as an example of sales experience. Yes, it was experience, but it had nothing to do with sales. It was life experience. It was experience serving God, doing His errands. His work. It was for Him and His Son. And whenever They need me to do something, I’m ready to serve again.
Last night my wife and I decided to start watching The Biggest Loser. Besides all the drama, it’s a very inspirational show. It reminds you that anyone can do anything they set their mind to, and that people can motivate themselves to change their lives for the better, and find happiness in doing so.
One of the contestants on this most recent season was a victim of child abuse. Hearing her recount her story is heart-breaking. She told her trainer that when her mother would hit her, she felt that she was of no worth.
All of us go through times where we feel low. For some, like this contestant, it stems from abuse. For others, it could be because of an ended relationship, or losing a job. Whatever the struggle may be, we can take courage in knowing that we are valuable. We have true worth.
“The Spirit itself beareth witness with our spirit that we are the children of God; And if children, then heirs; heirs of God, and joint-heirs with Christ, if so be that we suffer with him that we may also be glorified together.” -Romans 8:16-17
Truth is truth. It is unchangeable, no matter what circumstance we may find ourselves in. And the truth is, according to this scripture, we are royalty. We are literal children of a King, with a divine, heavenly inheritance. What is that worth to you?
For me, it’s everything.
Don’t let anyone tell you different. Always remember your true identity as a child of God. Strive to understand what that means for you personally. And most importantly, see and treat others that way too. It changes your whole perspective of the world. In fact, it changes the world.
This past weekend we enjoyed beautiful Lake Powell. It was an adventurous weekend full of fishing, tubing, wake boarding, and jet skiing. The creations of God are a wonder at this special place, with the surrounding red rock during the day, and the sky full of stars at night.
One time while we were wake boarding out on the lake, one of our boats broke down. Stranded, we noticed a couple of boats near by and started waving our arms and yelling to get their attention. Eventually we were able to tow our boat back.
It took a couple days, but after a bit of tinkering, the boat was working enough to get back to the ramp. One the way back however, the side stripping was falling off! So my wife’s aunt, probably sarcastically, told her daughter (about age 10) to pray that the boat wouldn’t break down again before we got to the ramp. Sure enough, she immediately folded her arms and bowed her head right there on the boat.
During the Savior’s life, he spoke very solemnly of children.
“But Jesus called them unto him, and said, Suffer little children to come unto me, and forbid them not: for of such is the kingdom of God. Verily I say unto you, Whosoever shall not receive the kingdom of God as a little child shall in no wise enter therein.” —Luke 18:16-17
After the Savior’s resurrection, he also visited the people of the ancient American continent as recorded in the Book of Mormon. There also he blessed the children…
“And when he had said these words, he wept, and the multitude bare record of it, and he took their little children, one by one, and blessed them, and prayed unto the Father for them. And when he had done this he wept again; And he spake unto the multitude, and said unto them: Behold your little ones. And as they looked to behold they cast their eyes towards heaven, and they saw the heavens open, and they saw angels descending out of heaven as it were in the midst of fire; and they came down and encircled those little ones about, and they were encircled about with fire; and the angles did minister unto them.” —3 Nephi 17:21-24
“Children are an heritage of the Lord.”(Psalm 127:3, The Family: A Proclamation to the World) Children are a blessing to the world. They are close to heaven. If you find yourself near a child, take a moment and just watch them. As you do, think about the Savior and how much he loves them. These little ones have much to teach us. All we have to do is give them more of our time, attention, and love.